Missing Me

I miss you
And not just the thought of you
But the way it felt to have my arm around you
And the way we could talk for hours about nothing but it always felt like something
And I miss the happy daydreams I had about you
Because in all of it, we were friends
And in some of it we were more
I wish I’d had more of you
But it’s ok that I didn’t
It’s ok that some of the gossamer dreams tangled me up
It’s ok that you were tangled up in someone else’s web
Dreaming about being tangled in someone else’s bed
It’s ok that you wouldn’t find them in me
You wouldn’t have been able to find them in me
I am all daydreams and four leaf clovers
All salt and acid and fire
All forehead kisses and play fighting
All chewed fingernails and tear stains
All sunshowers and acorn hats
There is no room for anyone in me but me
And I am finally ok with that
I miss you
But I missed myself more